Monday, October 30, 2006

Responses to Pickup Lines

He: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
She: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.

He: "Is this seat empty?"
She: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

He: "So, wanna go back to my place?"

She: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

He: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

She: "It's in the phone book."
He: "But I don't know your name."
She: "That's in the phone book too."

HE: "What sign were you born under?"

SHE: "No Parking."

He: "I know how to please a woman."

She: "Then please leave me alone."

He: "Haven't we met before?"

She: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

He: "I want to give myself to you."

She: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

He: "I can tell that you want me."

She: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you... to leave."

He: "Hey, baby, What's your sign?"

She: "Stop."

He: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"

She: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

He: "May I see you pretty soon?"

She: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

He: "Your body is like a temple."

She"Sorry, there are no services today."

He: "I'd go through anything for you."

She: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

He: "I would go to the end of the world for you."

She: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

He: "Your place or mine?"
She: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

After hearing a pickup line:

I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

If you are looking at a girl and she says "What are you looking at?"

say "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."

He: Would you like to dance?

She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.

He: Do you wanna dance?

She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!

Q: Does beauty run in your family?

A: It obviously doesn't in yours!

Q: What's your name sexy?

A: Taken!

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?

A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.

A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

He: Your legs go clear up to your ass.
She: Most peoples' do!

Q: Can I buy you a drink?

A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

He: "You look like a dream."

Response: "Go back to sleep."

He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?

She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

He: "I can see forever in your eyes."

Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."

He: "I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."

Response: "Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk."


Anonymous said...

funny little person behind the weel of his computer is not so wise to post dumb responses to funny pick up lines.

Anonymous said...

Funny, must of been a female programmer, lol
if not.... man, I'm sorry brother. Try tellin her somethin like if U were to hold 11 roses and look into a mirror, ud see the 12 most beautiful things of the world~ Maybe that will get ya somewhere, lol Put it under Troy Swanson

Anonymous said...

do you like fruit? cause i can pop your cherry.

Anonymous said...

Ugh.I'd just tell the guy I wasnt intrested..walk away.And if He didnt leave me alone well he'd find that out wouldnt he?

Anonymous said...

Guy: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Girl: "Unfertilized thank you"

Anonymous said...

She: May I seduce you into my bed.
He: You can try, but my boyfriend gets jealous so do it quietly.

Anonymous said...

"your place or mine?" "OR"