Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.
Q: What is the difference between a Virgin and a washing machine?
A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it!
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic = using a feather
Kinky = using the whole chicken
Q: What is the difference between a sin and shame?
A: It's a sin to stick it in and a shame to take it out.
Q. Why don't guys like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
Q. What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!
Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Worse: You're in them
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross dresser
Worse: He looks better than you
Good: Your son's finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Worse: So are you
Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Worse: With corrections
Good: Your wife's not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Worse: She's a lawyer
Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob off your granny, It feels great but for christs sake don't look down. heello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee ffuucckkiinngg tthhiinngg ooffff. Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"
A farmer was at a diner one day having lunch when he noticed an old friend.
What really caught his attention was that this friend was wearing an earring.
The farmer knew his old buddy to be a fairly conservative fellow, and was curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The farmer walked up to him and said, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," the fellow replied sheepishly.
The farmer was silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity got the best of him and he asked "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck," the man replied.