Thursday, November 16, 2006

Santa Banta Jokes

Santa falls in luv with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally
writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister.”

Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother
Santa: Very long!

Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself.
Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator!

While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here.

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What’ll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I’ll take the money.

Q: How do you recognize Santa’s son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u’ll die.
Santa: U’ll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon
reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?”
Santa: He’s not studying, they are studying him!

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

What’s Ford?
Santa: Car.
What’s Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Car driven by Ox

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion’s
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn’t say he got out.

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes
first - the chicken or the egg?
“Depends on the sequence in which 1 places the order”

Santa (reading from book of facts): “Do you know that every time I
breathe a man dies?”
Banta: “Why don’t you use a mouth wash ?”

Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.

Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions

An englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?"
Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & coke?"

Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!

Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.

Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"

Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.

Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.

Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?


Anonymous said...

I really liked these jokes, and whoever came up with them - GOOD ON YA MAN !!!!!

Anonymous said...

its realy very nice,i just love it

Anonymous said...

They are so intresting and exiting