Wednesday, November 01, 2006


• Men are like vacations...They never seem to last long enough

• I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed

• Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

• I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight

• You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me

• All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a pussy.

• Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction

• Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!

• Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring

• Success is like masturbation, only ur own hand can let u acheive it.

• You simply must stop taking other people's advice.

• Women aren't that bad, but wives...!

• Your lucky number is 6478389077163. Watch for it everywhere.

• If I wanted to hear from an ass, I would fart.

• Nobody ever goes there, it's too crowded.

• A good scare is worth more than good advice.

• Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself.

• Height of conceit : Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

• My wife says my sex drive has taken up walking.

• 9 out of 10 men prefer large breasts. The other man prefers the 9 men.

• Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time

• Money is jst like arse... everybody has it, but.... nobody wants to give it !

• Success is like masturbation, only ur own hand can let u acheive it.

• Educatuon is like hiring a prostitute, it needs both money & hard work.

• Work is like a gangbang, ten people are behind ur ass 2 take ur place.

• Fate is like getting raped, if u can't fight it learn to njoy it.

• I've never had premonitions, but I think one day I might.

• I'm a killer, I kill people for money, but you are my friend I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

• We do precision guesswork.

• Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

• Most people like hard work. Particularly when they are paying for it.

• Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

• Prejudice can save lots of time, because you can form an opinion without any facts.

• No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

• Coffee, chocolate, men... some things are just better rich.

• Some people think they are generous coz they give away free advice

• The govt is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding govt.

• Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.

• Political language is designed to make lies sound useful and murder respectable.

• The trouble with being the boss is that there's no satisfaction in stealing office supplies.

• I just got the bill for my surgery. Now I know why those doctors were wearing masks.

• Research is an organized method for keeping you reasonably dissatisfied with what you have.

• Almost every man wastes part of his life attempting to display qualities which he does not possess

• If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

• I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

• Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

• Don't lie, cheat or steal...unnecessarily.


Anonymous said...

Hell, great compilation :)

Saurabh said...

damm good man keep it up :-)

Unknown said...

nice stuff man.

Anonymous said...

Those were fantastic quotes, you shoulda put who wrote them. I would have liked to known. None of them had anything to do with graffiti, that's what I was trying to find. Doing a school project on it. If you find them please post them. :)