Monday, October 30, 2006

Responses to Pickup Lines

He: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
She: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."


He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.


He: "Is this seat empty?"
She: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."


He: "So, wanna go back to my place?"

She: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"


He: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

She: "It's in the phone book."
He: "But I don't know your name."
She: "That's in the phone book too."


HE: "What sign were you born under?"

SHE: "No Parking."


He: "I know how to please a woman."

She: "Then please leave me alone."


He: "Haven't we met before?"

She: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."


He: "I want to give myself to you."

She: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."


He: "I can tell that you want me."

She: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you... to leave."


He: "Hey, baby, What's your sign?"

She: "Stop."


He: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"

She: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."


He: "May I see you pretty soon?"

She: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"


He: "Your body is like a temple."

She"Sorry, there are no services today."


He: "I'd go through anything for you."

She: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."


He: "I would go to the end of the world for you."

She: "Yes, but would you stay there?"


He: "Your place or mine?"
She: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."


After hearing a pickup line:

I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

If you are looking at a girl and she says "What are you looking at?"

say "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."


He: Would you like to dance?

She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.


He: Do you wanna dance?

She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!


Q: Does beauty run in your family?

A: It obviously doesn't in yours!


Q: What's your name sexy?

A: Taken!


Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?

A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!


Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.

A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!


He: Your legs go clear up to your ass.
She: Most peoples' do!


Q: Can I buy you a drink?

A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!


He: "You look like a dream."

Response: "Go back to sleep."


He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?

She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?


He: "I can see forever in your eyes."

Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."


He: "I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."

Response: "Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

funny little person behind the weel of his computer is not so wise to post dumb responses to funny pick up lines.

Anonymous said...

Funny, must of been a female programmer, lol
if not.... man, I'm sorry brother. Try tellin her somethin like if U were to hold 11 roses and look into a mirror, ud see the 12 most beautiful things of the world~ Maybe that will get ya somewhere, lol Put it under Troy Swanson

Anonymous said...

do you like fruit? cause i can pop your cherry.

Anonymous said...

Ugh.I'd just tell the guy I wasnt intrested..walk away.And if He didnt leave me alone well he'd find that out wouldnt he?

Anonymous said...

Guy: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Girl: "Unfertilized thank you"

Anonymous said...

She: May I seduce you into my bed.
He: You can try, but my boyfriend gets jealous so do it quietly.

Anonymous said...

"your place or mine?" "OR"