Cynicism & Insults

Thank you for not annoying me more than you do.

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste; I'm glad they didn't waste one on you.

I'd like to help you out; which way did you come in?

"Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?"

When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening.

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

You have a face like a Saint - A Saint Bernard.

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. This wasn't it.

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?

When He comes into a room, the mice jump on chairs.

There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

Next time you get the urge to think...don't. It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on holiday.

Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

I don't care who you are, what you drive, or where you'd rather be.

I'm not cynical. I'm just experienced.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?

I wonder what life would have been like if you had had enough oxygen at birth.

Whatever it is that's eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Are you renting the space in your head? It could be profitable.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

I think someone has to be listening to you for it to be an actual conversation.

I don't care where you go, as long as you get lost.

This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

You have no idea how acutely depressing it is to realize we're from the same species.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot.

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

It's not that I wish any harm to the guy, I'm just saying I could happily sit by while someone knocks his head off.

A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Quotations for St. Valentines Day

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths, No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a qaurter of a century.
-Mark Twain

“To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day, All in the morning betime, And I a maid at your window, To be your Valentine.”
-William Shakespeare

Love is like standing in wet cement, the longer you stay the harder is to leave and you never leave without leaving your marks behind.
-Anonymous

“Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.”
-Anonymous

Of all the forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
-Betrand Russell

“Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!”
-Jay Leno

Love is the condition in which the happiness is essential than your own.
-Robert A. Heinlein

A man can be happy with any women as long as he does not love her.
-Oscar Wilde

“I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.”
-Robert Orben

“Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine!”
-Thomas Hood

If you love someone set it free, if it comes back its yours, if it doent then it never was.
-Richard Bach

Romance has been elegantly described as the offspring of love and fiction.
-Benjamin Disraeli

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic and probably and injured one.
-Glenn Beck

In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person.
-Margaret C. Anderson

“I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”
-Anonymous

He who wants to do good knocks on the gate: he who loves finds the doors open.
-Rabindranath Tagore

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for thoses who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for the one's who love, time is eternity.
-Henry Van Dyle

Love makes one calmer about things, and that way, one is fit for one's work.
-Vincent Van Gagh

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love is the soul of genius
-Mozart

Men always want to be a woman's first love, - women like to be the man's last romance.
-Oscar Wilde

A man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all the things to make himself envied.
-Mark Twain

Love is not blind, it sees more not less. But Because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
-Rabbi J. Gorden

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
-Robert Frost

Love is eternal- the aspect may change, but not the essence. There is the same difference in a person before and after he is in love, as there is in an unlighted lamp and a one that is burning. The lamp was there and was a good lamp, but now its shedding light too and that was its real function.
-Vincent Van Gagh

Sarcastic Responses

1. At the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...

2. In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you
try again.

3. At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??

Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We
occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together:
When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?

Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just
the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in
Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted
moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?

Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office
asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.

Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and
now it's in flames!!!

Quotes & Quotations

• Women aren't that bad, but wives...!

• Your lucky number is 6478389077163. Watch for it everywhere.

• If I wanted to hear from an ass, I would fart.

• I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

• You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

• Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.
-Scott E. Roeben


• Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.
-S. J. Perelman

• An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card.

• It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
~Jerry seinfeld

• Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.
~Jerry seinfeld

• See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them
~Jerry seinfeld

• The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
- Robert Benchley

• The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
- Ambrose Bierce

• Quotations in my work are like wayside robbers who leap out armed and relieve the stroller of his conviction.
-Walter Benjamin

• When one begins to live by habit and by quotation, one has begun to stop living.
- James Baldwin

• One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well.
- Amos Bronson Alcott

'The Simpsons' Quotes

“Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.”
-Matt Groening, "Life in Hell"

“Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?' I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania'...or 'teria'.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

“What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?”
-Matt Groening, The Simpsons

Quotes by William Shakespeare

“A wretched soul,bruised with adversity,We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain, As much or more we should ourselves complain.”
-William Shakespeare

“Action is eloquence.”
-William Shakespeare

“And since you know you cannot see yourself, so well as by reflection,
I, your glass, will modestly discover to yourself, that of yourself which you yet know not of.” -William Shakespeare

“And thus I clothe my naked villainy With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ;
And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.”
-William Shakespeare

“Assume a virtue, if you have it not.”
-William Shakespeare

“Be great in act, as you have been in thought.”
-William Shakespeare

“Blow, blow, thou winter wind Thou art not so unkind, As man's ingratitude.”
-William Shakespeare

“Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility,
witty without affectation, free without indecency,
learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood.”
-William Shakespeare

“For they are yet ear-kissing arguments.”
-William Shakespeare

“Free from gross passion or of mirth or anger constant in spirit,
not swerving with the blood, garnish'd and deck'd in modest compliment,
not working with the eye without the ear, and but in purged judgement trusting neither?
Such and so finely bolted didst thou seem.”
-William Shakespeare

"“Glory is like a circle in the water,”
-Which never ceaseth to enlarge itself,
“Till by broad spreading it disperses to naught.”"
-William Shakespeare

“God bless thee; and put meekness in thy mind, love, charity, obedience, and true duty!” -William Shakespeare

“He who has injured thee was either stronger or weaker than thee.
If weaker, spare him; if stronger, spare thyself.”
-William Shakespeare

“His life was gentle;
and the elements So mixed in him,
that Nature might stand up,
And say to all the world, THIS WAS A MAN!”
-William Shakespeare

“How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees.”
-William Shakespeare

“How use doth breed a habit in a man.”
-William Shakespeare

“I am not bound to please thee with my answers.”
-William Shakespeare

“I did never know so full a voice issue from so empty a heart:
but the saying is true 'The empty vessel makes the greatest sound'.”
-William Shakespeare

“I dote on his very absence.”
-William Shakespeare

“I feel within me a peace above all earthly dignities, a still and quiet conscience.”
-William Shakespeare

“I hate ingratitude more in a man than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
or any taint of vice whose strong corruption inhabits our frail blood.”
-William Shakespeare

“I must be cruel only to be kind;
Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind.”
-William Shakespeare

“I pray thee cease thy counsel, Which falls into mine ears as profitless as water in a sieve.” -William Shakespeare

“I pray you bear me henceforth from the noise and rumour of the field, where I may think the remnant of my thoughts in peace, and part of this body and my soul with contemplation and devout desires.”
-William Shakespeare

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.”
-William Shakespeare

“I wish you well and so I take my leave,
I Pray you know me when we meet again.”
-William Shakespeare

“Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word.”
-William Shakespeare

“In a false quarrel there is no true valour.”
-William Shakespeare

“In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as modest stillness and humility.”
-William Shakespeare

“In time we hate that which we often fear.”
-William Shakespeare

“It is not enough to help the feeble up, but to support him after.”
-William Shakespeare

“Lady you bereft me of all words, Only my blood speaks to you in my veins,
And there is such confusion in my powers.”
-William Shakespeare

“Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore, So do our minutes hasten to their end.” -William Shakespeare

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.”
-William Shakespeare

“Mine honour is my life; both grow in one;
take honour from me and my life is done.”
-William Shakespeare

“My words fly up, my thoughts remain below. Words without thoughts never to heaven go.” -William Shakespeare

“Nothing emboldens sin so much as mercy.”
-William Shakespeare

“Our bodies are our gardens to which our wills are gardeners.”
-William Shakespeare

“Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie.”
-William Shakespeare

“Pity is the virtue of the law, and none but tyrants use it cruelly.”
-William Shakespeare

“Praising what is lost makes the remembrance dear.”
-William Shakespeare

“See first that the design is wise and just:
that ascertained, pursue it resolutely;
do not for one repulse forego the purpose that you resolved to effect.”
-William Shakespeare

“So may he rest, his faults lie gently on him!”
-William Shakespeare

“Strong reasons make strong actions.”
-William Shakespeare

“Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.”
-William Shakespeare

“Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.”
-William Shakespeare

“The peace of heaven is theirs that lift their swords, in such a just and charitable war.”
-William Shakespeare

“The sands are number'd that make up my life.”
-William Shakespeare

“The soul of this man is in his clothes.”
-William Shakespeare

“The trust I have is in mine innocence, and therefore am I bold and resolute.”
-William Shakespeare

“Their understanding Begins to swell and the approaching tide Will shortly fill the reasonable shores That now lie foul and muddy.”
-William Shakespeare

“Thou art all the comfort, The Gods will diet me with.”
-William Shakespeare

“Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge of thine own cause.”
-William Shakespeare

“Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.”
-William Shakespeare

“Thy words, I grant are bigger, for I wear not, my dagger in my mouth.”
-William Shakespeare

“Virtue and genuine graces in themselves speak what no words can utter.”
-William Shakespeare

“We are advertis'd by our loving friends.”
-William Shakespeare

“We do not keep the outward form of order, where there is deep disorder in the mind.”
-William Shakespeare

“We know what we are, but not what we may be.”
-William Shakespeare

“When griping grief the heart doth wound, and doleful dumps the mind opresses, then music, with her silver sound, with speedy help doth lend redress.”
-William Shakespeare

Quotes by George Bernard Shaw

“A day's work is a day's work, neither more nor liess, and the man who does it needs a day's sustenance, a night's repose and due leisure, whether he be painter or ploughman.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“An American has no sense of privacy. He does not know what it means.There is no such thing in the country.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Criminals do not die by the hands of the law. They die by the hands of other men.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“England and America are two countries separated by a common language.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich--something for nothing.” -George Bernard Shaw

“Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Hell is full of musical amateurs.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“If the lesser mind could measure the greater as a footrule can measure a pyramid, there would be finality in universal suffrage. As it is, the political problem remains unsolved.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Lack of money is the root of all evil.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then say it with the utmost levity.” -George Bernard Shaw

“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed but that he cannot believe anyone else.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and all time.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.” -George Bernard Shaw

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“You are going to let the fear of poverty govern your life and your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.”
-George Bernard Shaw

“My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.”
-George Bernard Shaw, "Answers to Nine Questions"

“You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"”
-George Bernard Shaw, "Back to Methuselah" (1921), part 1, act 1

“There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.” -George Bernard Shaw, "Man and Superman" (1903), act 4

“A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.” -George Bernard Shaw, "Man and Superman" (1903), act I

“The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.”
-George Bernard Shaw, "Man and Superman" (1903), act I

“You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.”
-George Bernard Shaw, "Misalliance"

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.”
-George Bernard Shaw, "Mrs. Warren's Profession" (1893) act II

“There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses.”
-George Bernard Shaw, "Mrs. Warren's Profession" (1893), act III

“Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.”
-George Bernard Shaw, "Pygmalion" (1913)

“One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.” -George Bernard Shaw, "The Apple Cart" (1930), act I

“The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity.”
-George Bernard Shaw, "The Devil's Disciple" (1901), act II

“We don't bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners.”
-George Bernard Shaw, "You Never Can Tell" (1898), act I

“"Do you know what a pessimist is?" "A man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it."”
-George Bernard Shaw, An Unsocial Socialist (1887) ch. 5

“All great truths begin as blasphemies.”
-George Bernard Shaw, Annajanska (1919)

“Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.”
-George Bernard Shaw, Back to Methuselah (1921) pt. 5

“He who has never hoped can never despair.”
-George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra (1901) act 4

“When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.” -George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra (1901) Act III

“Do you think that the things people make fools of themselves about are any less real and true than the things they behave sensibly about? They are more true: they are the only things that are true.”
-George Bernard Shaw, Candida (1898) act 1

“We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.”
-George Bernard Shaw, Candida (1898) act 1

“Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.”
-George Bernard Shaw, Everybody's Political What's What? (1944) ch. 9

“A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”
-George Bernard Shaw, Everybody's Political What's What? (1944) ch. 30

“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.”
-George Bernard Shaw, John Bull's Other Island (1907) act 2

Quotes by Sir Winston Churchill

“A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.” -Sir Winston Churchill

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required."
-Sir Winston Churchill

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“The price of greatness is responsibility.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, (attributed)

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
-Sir Winston Churchill, a conference in Washington DC

"We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire...Give us the tools and we will finish the job."
-Sir Winston Churchill, BBC radio broadcast, Feb 9, 1941

"The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst."
-Sir Winston Churchill, Hansard, June 10, 1941

“I would say to the House, as I said to those who have joined this Government: 'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat."
-Sir Winston Churchill, Hansard, May 13, 1940

“Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Hansard, November 11, 1947

“So they [the Government] go on in strange paradox, decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Hansard, November 12, 1936

“It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, My Early Life, 1930

“I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, on the eve of his 75th birthday

“I am reminded of the professor who, in his declining hours, was asked by his devoted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, 'Verify your quotations.'”
-Sir Winston Churchill, quoted in Rudolf Flesch, ed., "The New Book of Unusual --Quotations" (NY: Harper & Row, 1966), p. 311

“I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma: but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Radio speech, 1939

“Here is the answer which I will give to President Roosevelt... We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire. Neither the sudden shock of battle nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down. Give us the tools and we will finish the job.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Radio speech, 1941

“It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Bartlett's Familiar Quotations is an admirable work, and I studied it intently. The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Roving Commission: My Early Life, 1930, Chapter 9

“One day President Roosevelt told me that he was asking publicly for suggestions about what the war should be called. I said at once 'The Unnecessary War'.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Second World War (1948)

“The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Speech at Harvard University, September 6, 1943

“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, speech at the Lord Mayor's banquet, London, November 9, 1954

“From Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic an iron curtain has descended across the Continent.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Speech in March 1946

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Speech in November 1942

“We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, speech in the House of Commons, July 14, 1940

“A love of tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril; but the new view must come, the world must roll forward.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, speech in the House of Commons, November 29, 1944

“Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”
-Sir Winston Churchill, Speech, 1941, Harrow School

Quotes by Mark Twain

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
-Mark Twain

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
-Mark Twain

“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”
-Mark Twain

“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”
-Mark Twain

“An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.”
-Mark Twain

“Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.” -Mark Twain

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
-Mark Twain

“By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean.”
-Mark Twain

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
-Mark Twain

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”
-Mark Twain

“Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”
-Mark Twain

“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
-Mark Twain

“Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”
-Mark Twain

“Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.”
-Mark Twain

“Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.”
-Mark Twain

“Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.”
-Mark Twain

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”
-Mark Twain

“Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”
-Mark Twain

“Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.”
-Mark Twain

“Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.”
-Mark Twain

“Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.”
-Mark Twain

“I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”
-Mark Twain

“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.”
-Mark Twain

“I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.”
-Mark Twain

“I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.”
-Mark Twain

“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
-Mark Twain

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
-Mark Twain

“I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.”
-Mark Twain

“I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.”
-Mark Twain

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.”
-Mark Twain

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
-Mark Twain

“If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.”
-Mark Twain

“In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.”
-Mark Twain

“In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.”
-Mark Twain

“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
-Mark Twain

“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.”
-Mark Twain

“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.” -Mark Twain

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
-Mark Twain

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
-Mark Twain

“It is easier to stay out than get out.”
-Mark Twain

“It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”
-Mark Twain

“It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.”
-Mark Twain

“Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.”
-Mark Twain

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
-Mark Twain

“Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.”
-Mark Twain

“Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
-Mark Twain

“Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.”
-Mark Twain

“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”
-Mark Twain

“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
-Mark Twain

“Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”
-Mark Twain

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” -Mark Twain

“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” -Mark Twain

“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.”
-Mark Twain

“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.”
-Mark Twain

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”
-Mark Twain

“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”
-Mark Twain

“The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.” -Mark Twain

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” -Mark Twain

“The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.”
-Mark Twain

Quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A man of genius is privileged only as far as he is genius. His dullness is as insupportable as any other dullness.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“All our progress is an unfolding, like a vegetable bud. You have first an instinct, then an opinion, then a knowledge as the plant has root, bud, and fruit. Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“As we grow old…the beauty steals inward.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall com back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Character is higher than intellect... A great soul will be strong to live, as well as to think.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Children are all foreigners.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Conversation is an art in which a man has all mankind for his competitors, for it is that which all are practising every day while they live.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don't waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Every great and commanding moment in the annals of the world is the triumph of some enthusiasm.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Every hero becomes a bore at last.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Give all to love; obey thy heart.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“God enters by a private door into every individual.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea, and at last wake up in Naples, and there beside me is the Stern Fact, the Sad Self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Insist on yourself; never imitate... Every great man is unique.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Let not a man guard his dignity, but let his dignity guard him.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air…”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Make yourself necessary to somebody. Do not make life hard to any.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Money, which represents the prose of life, and which is hardly spoken of in parlors without an apology, is, in its effects and laws, as beautiful as roses.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nature magically suits a man to his fortunes, by making them the fruit of his character.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Our knowledge is the amassed thought and experience of innumerable minds.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The adventitious beauty of poetry may be felt in the greater delight with a verse given in a happy quotation than in the poem.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The ancestor of every action is a thought.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The essence of all jokes, of all comedy, seems to be an honest or well intended halfness; a non performance of that which is pretended to be performed, at the same time that one is giving loud pledges of performance. The balking of the intellect, is comedy and it announces itself in the pleasant spasms we call laughter.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The key to every man is his thought. Sturdy and defying though he look, he has a helm which he obeys, which is the idea after which all his facts are classified. He can only be reformed by showing him a new idea which commands his own.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The life of man is the true romance, which when it is valiantly conduced, will yield the imagination a higher joy than any fiction.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The measure of a master is his success in bringing all men around to his opinion twenty years later.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The only gift is a portion of thyself.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The peril of every fine faculty is the delight of playing with it for pride. Talent is commonly developed at the expense of character, and the greater it grows, the more is the mischief. Talent is mistaken for genius, a dogma or system for truth, ambition for greatest, ingenuity for poetry, sensuality for art.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The world belongs to the energetic.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Quotes by Oscar Wilde

“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.”
-Oscar Wilde

“A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
-Oscar Wilde

“America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.” -Oscar Wilde

“America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.”
-Oscar Wilde

“At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Biography lends to death a new terror.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Genius is born--not paid.”
-Oscar Wilde

“I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.” -Oscar Wilde

“I am not young enough to know everything.”
-Oscar Wilde

“I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.”
-Oscar Wilde

“I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.”
-Oscar Wilde

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Illusion is the first of all pleasures.”
-Oscar Wilde

“It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.”
-Oscar Wilde

“It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event."
-Oscar Wilde

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.”
-Oscar Wilde

“One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.”
-Oscar Wilde

“One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” -Oscar Wilde

“Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.”
-Oscar Wilde

“The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.”
-Oscar Wilde

“The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.”
-Oscar Wilde

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
-Oscar Wilde

“The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.”
-Oscar Wilde

“There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.”
-Oscar Wilde

“To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.” -Oscar Wilde

“We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.”
-Oscar Wilde

“We teach people how to remember, we never teach them how to grow.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Why was I born with such contemporaries?”
-Oscar Wilde

“Wisdom comes with winters.”
-Oscar Wilde

“One should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar.”
-Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"

“The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.”
-Oscar Wilde, "The Remarkable Rocket"

“The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.”
-Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance, Act 3

“I don't play accurately-any one can play accurately- but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.”
-Oscar Wilde, Algernon from The Importance of Being Earnest

“When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.”
-Oscar Wilde, An Ideal husband, 1893

“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”
-Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1893, Act I

“Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons.”
-Oscar Wilde, De Profundis

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
-Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 1905

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”
-Oscar Wilde, In Life of Oscar Wilde, H. Pearson

“One's real life is often the life that one does not lead.”
-Oscar Wilde, L'Envoi, 1882

“My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.”
-Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892

“I can resist anything but temptation.”
-Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act I

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.”
-Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act I

“Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.”
-Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act I

“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.”
-Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act III

“Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.”
-Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act III

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
-Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act III

Quotes by John F. Kennedy

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”
-John F. Kennedy

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”
-John F. Kennedy

“If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.” -John F. Kennedy

“Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation.”
-John F. Kennedy

“Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain”.
-John F. Kennedy

“Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.”
-John F. Kennedy

“So, let us not be blind to our differences - but let us also direct attention to our common interests and to the means by which those differences can be resolved.”
-John F. Kennedy

“The American, by nature, is optimistic. He is experimental, an inventor and a builder who builds best when called upon to build greatly.”
-John F. Kennedy

“The ancient Greek definition of happiness was the full use of your powers along lines of excellence.”
-John F. Kennedy

“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”
-John F. Kennedy

“The great French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, 'In that case, there is no time to lose; plant it this afternoon!'”
-John F. Kennedy

“The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.”
-John F. Kennedy

“There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.”
-John F. Kennedy

“Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.”
-John F. Kennedy

“We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.”
-John F. Kennedy

“We set sail on this new sea because there is knowledge to be gained.”
-John F. Kennedy

“We stand for freedom. That is our conviction for ourselves; that is our only commitment to others.”
-John F. Kennedy

“When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were.”
-John F. Kennedy

“The men who create power make an indispensable contribution to the Nation’s greatness, but the men who question power make a contribution just as indispensable, especially when that questioning is disinterested, for they determine whether we use power or power uses us.”
-John F. Kennedy, Amherst College, Oct 26, 1963

“...probably the greatest concentration of talent and genius in this house except for perhaps those times when Thomas Jefferson ate alone.”
-John F. Kennedy, Describing a dinner for Nobel Prize winners, 1962

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” -John F. Kennedy, In a speech at the White House, 1962

“And so, my fellow americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.”
-John F. Kennedy, Inaugural address, January 20, 1961

“If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.”
-John F. Kennedy, inaugural address, January 20, 1961

“We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth.”
-John F. Kennedy, October 26, 1963

“For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal.”
-John F. Kennedy, Speech at The American University, Washington, D.C., June 10, 1963

“Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.”
-John F. Kennedy, speech at The American University, Washington, D.C., June 10, 1963

“The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.”
-John F. Kennedy, speech at Vanderbilt University, May 18, 1963

“All of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea -- whether it is to sail or to watch it -- we are going back from whence we came.”
-John F. Kennedy, Speech given at Newport at the dinner before the America's Cup Races, September 1962

“We need men who can dream of things that never were.”
-John F. Kennedy, speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28, 1963

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger - but recognize the opportunity.”
-John F. Kennedy, Speech in Indianapolis, April 12, 1959

Quotes by Plato

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
-Plato

“Death is not the worst than can happen to men.”
-Plato

“If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.” -Plato

“Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil.”
-Plato

“Laws are partly formed for the sake of good men, in order to instruct them how they may live on friendly terms with one another, and partly for the sake of those who refuse to be instructed, whose spirit cannot be subdued, or softened, or hindered from plunging into evil.”
-Plato

“Man...is a tame or civilized animal; never the less, he requires proper instruction and a fortunate nature, and then of all animals he becomes the most divine and most civilized; but if he be insufficiently or ill- educated he is the most savage of earthly creatures.”
-Plato

“Never discourage anyone... who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”
-Plato

“Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”
-Plato

“No human thing is of serious importance.”
-Plato

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”
-Plato

“The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.”
-Plato

“There is no such thing as a lover's oath.”
-Plato

“They certainly give very strange names to diseases.”
-Plato

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
-Plato

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” -Plato

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”
-Plato

“No evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death.”
-Plato, Dialogues, Apology

“You cannot conceive the many without the one.”
-Plato, Dialogues, Parmenides

“False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.”
-Plato, Dialogues, Phaedo

“Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death?”
-Plato, Dialogues, Phaedo

“The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers of his own assertions.”
-Plato, Dialogues, Phaedo

“Friends have all things in common.”
-Plato, Dialogues, Phaedrus

“The greatest penalty of evildoing - namely, to grow into the likeness of bad men.”
-Plato, Dialogues, Theatetus

“You are young, my son, and, as the years go by, time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters.”
-Plato, Dialogues, Theatetus

“Any one who has common sense will remember that the bewilderments of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes, either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind's eye, quite as much as of the bodily eye; and he who remembers this when he sees any one whose vision is perplexed and weak, will not be too ready to laugh; he will first ask whether that soul of man has come out of the brighter light, and is unable to see because unaccustomed to the dark, or having turned from darkness to the day is dazzled by excess of light.”
-Plato, The Republic

“Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another.”
-Plato, The Republic

“Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind.”
-Plato, The Republic

“Everything that deceives may be said to enchant.”
-Plato, The Republic

“He who is of calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden.”
-Plato, The Republic

“I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning.
-Plato, The Republic

“Mankind censure injustice fearing that they may be the victims of it, and not because they shrink from committing it.”
-Plato, The Republic

“Necessity, who is the mother of invention.”
-Plato, The Republic

“The beginning is the most important part of the work.”
-Plato, The Republic

“The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life.”
-Plato, The Republic

“The people have always some champion whom they set over them and nurse into greatness...This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears he is a protector.”
-Plato, The Republic

“The soul of man is immortal and imperishable.”
-Plato, The Republic

“There are three arts which are concerned with all things: one which uses, another which makes, and a third which imitates them.”
-Plato, The Republic

“Wealth is the parent of luxury and indolence, and poverty of meanness and viciousness, and both of discontent.”
-Plato, The Republic

“When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.”
-Plato, The Republic

Quotes by Martin Luther King Jr.

“All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

“It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

“Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars... Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Segregation is the adultery of an illicit intercourse between injustice and immorality.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Ten thousand fools proclaim themselves into obscurity, while one wise man forgets himself into immortality.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.

“The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., "Strength to Love"

“All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., 'Strength to Love,' 1963

“The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., 'Strength to Love,' 1963

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., Accepting Nobel Peace Prize, Dec. 10, 1964

“Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time; the need for mankind to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence. Mankind must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., December 11, 1964

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963

“The church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from Birmingham Jail, April 1963

“Now, I say to you today my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: - 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'”
-Martin Luther King Jr., Speech at Civil Rights March on Washington, August 28, 1963

“I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.” -Martin Luther King Jr., Speech in Detroit, June 23, 1963

“...And I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land. So I'm happy tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., Speech in Memphis, April 3, 1968, the day before King was assassinated

“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” -Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
-Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

Quotes by Woody Allen

“As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.”
-Woody Allen

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
-Woody Allen

“Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.”
-Woody Allen

“His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.”
-Woody Allen

“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?”
-Woody Allen

“How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?”
-Woody Allen

“I am at two with nature.”
-Woody Allen

“I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.”
-Woody Allen

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.” -Woody Allen

“I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.”
-Woody Allen

“I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.” -Woody Allen

“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
-Woody Allen

“I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.”
-Woody Allen

“If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”
-Woody Allen

“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.”
-Woody Allen

“Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.” -Woody Allen

“It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.”
-Woody Allen

“It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.”
-Woody Allen

“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”
-Woody Allen

“Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.”
-Woody Allen

“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”
-Woody Allen

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
-Woody Allen

“Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.” -Woody Allen

“My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.” -Woody Allen

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”
-Woody Allen

“Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.”
-Woody Allen

“On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.” -Woody Allen

“Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.”
-Woody Allen

“Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.”
-Woody Allen

“The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.”
-Woody Allen

Quotes by Sophocles

“A short saying oft contains much wisdom.”
-Sophocles

“Ignorant men don't know what good they hold in their hands until they've flung it away.” -Sophocles

“Much speech is one thing, well-timed speech is another.”
-Sophocles

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.”
-Sophocles

“The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.” -Sophocles

“What you cannot enforce, do not command.”
-Sophocles

“No man loves life like him that's growing old.”
-Sophocles, Acrisius

“To him who is in fear everything rustles.”
-Sophocles, Acrisius

“It is not righteousness to outrage A brave man dead, not even though you hate him.” -Sophocles, Ajax

“Men of ill judgment oft ignore the good That lies within their hands, till they have lost it.” -Sophocles, Ajax

“Of all human ills, greatest is fortune's wayward tyranny.”
-Sophocles, Ajax

“For God hates utterly The bray of bragging tongues.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“How dreadful it is when the right judge judges wrong!”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“I have nothing but contempt for the kind of governor who is afraid, for whatever reason, to follow the course that he knows is best for the State; and as for the man who sets private friendship above the public welfare - I have no use for him either.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“Money: There's nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“Nobody likes the man who brings bad news.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“Numberless are the world's wonders, but none More wonderful than man.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“Reason is God's crowning gift to man.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“Show me the man who keeps his house in hand, He's fit for public authority.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“The ideal condition Would be, I admit, that men should be right by instinct; But since we are all likely to go astray, The reasonable thing is to learn from those who can teach.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“There is no happiness where there is no wisdom; No wisdom but in submission to the gods. Big words are always punished, And proud men in old age learn to be wise.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“Wisdom outweighs any wealth.”
-Sophocles, Antigone

“Truly, to tell lies is not honorable; but when the truth entails tremendous ruin, To speak dishonorably is pardonable.”
-Sophocles, Creusa

“Death is not the worst thing; rather, when one who craves death cannot attain even that wish.” -Sophocles, Electra

“Death is not the worst; rather, in vain To wish for death, and not to compass it.”
-Sophocles, Electra

“The end excuses any evil.”
-Sophocles, Electra (c.409 BC)

“It made our hair stand up in panic fear.”
-Sophocles, Oedipus at Colonus

“One word Frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.”
-Sophocles, Oedipus at Colonus

“Stranger in a strange country.”
-Sophocles, Oedipus at Colonus

Quotes by Sir Francis Bacon

“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“By far the best proof is experience.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Certainly virtue is like precious odors, most fragrant when they are incensed, or crushed: for prosperity doth best discover vice, but adversity doth best discover virtue.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Death is a friend of ours; and he that is not ready to entertain him is not at home.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Discretion in speech is more than eloquence.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“He of whom many are afraid ought to fear many.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“I have taken all knowledge to be my province.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Natural abilities are like natural plants; they need pruning by study.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Praise from the common people is generally false, and rather follows the vain than the virtuous.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Read not to contradict and confute, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider.” -Sir Francis Bacon

“Read not to contradict and confute, not to believe and take for granted, not to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Revenge is a kind of wild justice, which the more man's nature runs to the more ought law to weed it out.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Seek ye first the good things of the mind, and the rest will either be supplied or its loss will not be felt.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Silence is the virtue of fools.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.”
-Sir Francis Bacon

“There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.”
-Sir Francis Bacon, "Of Beauty"

“Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other.”
-Sir Francis Bacon, "Of Death"

“Houses are built to live in, not to look on; therefore, let use be preferred before uniformity, except where both may be had.”
-Sir Francis Bacon, Essays: Of Building, 1623

“Knowledge is power.”
-Sir Francis Bacon, Meditationes Sacræ. De Hæresibus. (1597)

“In charity there is no excess.”
-Sir Francis Bacon, Of Goodness, and Goodness of Nature (1625)

Quotes by Lao-tzu

“Seek not happiness too greedily, and be not fearful of happiness.”
-Lao-tzu

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“He who knows others is wise; He who know himself is enlightened.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“He who loves the world as his body may be entrusted with the empire.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“I have three treasures. Guard and keep them: The first is deep love, The second is frugality, And the third is not to dare to be ahead of the world. Because of deep love, one is courageous. Because of frugality, one is generous. Because of not daring to be ahead of the world, one becomes the leader of the world.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“Manifest plainness, Embrace simplicity, Reduce selfishness, Have few desires.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“People are difficult to govern because they have too much knowledge.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“The best [man] is like water. Water is good; it benefits all things and does not compete with them. It dwells in [lowly] places that all disdain. This is why it is so near to Tao.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“The more laws and order are made prominent, The more thieves and robbers there will be.” -Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world. Through this I know the advantage of taking no action.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“The Way of Heaven is to benefit others and not to injure. The Way of the sage is to act but not to compete.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“There is no calamity greater than lavish desires. There is no greater guilt than discontentment. And there is no greater disaster than greed.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“To be worn out is to be renewed.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“To have little is to possess. To have plenty is to be perplexed.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“To know that you do not know is the best. To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“To produce things and to rear them, To produce, but not to take possession of them, To act, but not to rely on one's own ability, To lead them, but not to master them - This is called profound and secret virtue.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“When armies are mobilized and issues are joined, The man who is sorry over the fact will win.” -Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“When the highest type of men hear Tao, They diligently practice it. When the average type of men hear Tao, They half believe in it. When the lowest type of men hear Tao, They laugh heartily at it. Without the laugh, there is no Tao.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

“When the people of the world all know beauty as beauty, There arises the recognition of ugliness. When they all know the good as good, There arises the recognition of evil.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

Quotes by G. K. Chesterton

"My country, right or wrong," is a thing that no patriot would think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, "My mother, drunk or sober."
-G. K. Chesterton

“A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“I say that a man must be certain of his morality for the simple reason that he has to suffer for it.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“If there were no God, there would be no Atheists.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“Man seems to be capable of great virtues but not of small virtues; capable of defying his torturer but not of keeping his temper.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“The people who are the most bigoted are the people who have no convictions at all.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion”.
-G. K. Chesterton

“There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.”
-G. K. Chesterton

“There are no wise few. Every aristocracy that has ever existed has behaved, in all essential points, exactly like a small mob.”
-G. K. Chesterton, "Heretics", 1905

“All slang is a metaphor, and all metaphor is poetry.”
-G. K. Chesterton, Defendant (1901)

“Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity.”
-G. K. Chesterton, Defendant (1901)

“The rich are the scum of the earth in every country.”
-G. K. Chesterton, Flying Inn (1914)

“There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.”
-G. K. Chesterton, Heretics (1905)

“The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.”
-G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

“Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about.”
-G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

Quotes by Franklin D. Roosevelt

“As Americans, we go forward, in the service of our country, by the will of God.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“I sometimes think that the saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities- a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“If you treat people right they will treat you right - ninety percent of the time.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“It is common sense to take a method and try it; if it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt

“We must remember that any oppression, any injustice, any hatred, is a wedge designed to attack our civilization.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“First of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address, Mar. 4, 1933

“It is fun to be in the same decade with you.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt, in a letter to Winston Churchill

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt, message for Jefferson Day, April 13, 1945

“Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt, Pan American Day address, April 15, 1939

“When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt, quoted Kansas City Star, June 5, 1977

“A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt, radio address, Oct. 26, 1939

“Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt, radio address, October 26, 1939

“The true conservative is the man who has a real concern for injustices and takes thought against the day of reckoning.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt, Speech in Syracuse, NY Sep. 29, 1936

“In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt, Speech, September 22, 1936